Why life is a lot like jazz

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I’m something of a jazz fan. Not an informed one who can tell their Basie from their Mingus and who thinks BC means Before Charlie (Parker). I’m more the kind of fan who matches the music to my mood. Right now, as I write, I’m listening to John Coltrane and Duke Ellington getting very sentimental. Taking my cue from the music, I’m so languid I could almost slide off my chair. Or gaze soulfully into a cocktail glass. Continue reading Why life is a lot like jazz

The odd thing about getting older

Quirky or eccentric?
Playful or peculiar?

Let me ask you a question. If someone called you “quirky”, would you regard it as a compliment? What about “eccentric”, “idiosyncratic” or “odd”? I know what I’d be thinking: quirky good, eccentric and the rest, not so much.

I have a point to make here, and it is this:  there’s a whole group of words all basically suggesting the unconventional. Yet some people are applauded for being different while others are dismissed as distinctly strange.

Continue reading The odd thing about getting older

A word with Madonna

Desperately seeking sexy
Desperately seeking sexy

Dear Madonna

Or should I simply call you “bitch”? Whatever. As one mature woman to another, there’s something I’ve been meaning to raise with you for some time. It concerns the a-word – no, not your arse (or ass). Ageing. You know that thing that happens to us all, sooner or later. That condition not even you can defy forever. Continue reading A word with Madonna

Visible at any age

Merging with the wallpaper.
Merging with the wallpaper.

We women of a certain age often complain of becoming invisible. Nobody notices me any more, we sigh. Not even those cheeky builder blokes who’d whistle at anything remotely female (unless their preference is for other blokes, and even then they might give a woman the whistle just to be kind). Once you can pass a building site completely unacknowledged you know it’s all over. You have entered the twilight zone of the living dead. Continue reading Visible at any age

The AbFab guide to being fabulous

Frightfully fabulous - champagne already imbibed intravenously.
Frightfully fabulous – champagne already imbibed intravenously.

Today I would like to pay tribute to the twosome who have absolutely set the bar for fabulousness. Yes, ladies (and gentlemen if there are any of you), I give you Edina Monsoon and Patsy Stone. Who else? The stars of Absolutely Fabulous are in a class of their own.  When it comes to the art of being über fabulous, these two wrote the manual and then tossed it away. Continue reading The AbFab guide to being fabulous

Ladies, I give you Mr Leonard Cohen!

Suzanne Marianne Cohen down by the river.
Suzanne Marianne Cohen down by the river.

It’s official: I’m in love. With an almost-octogenarian. Like so many women before me, I have fallen for the charms of Mr Leonard Cohen. And as a token of my deep, undying devotion, I’m changing my name to Suzanne Marianne Cohen. As of now I’m not yet styling myself “Mrs C,” but maybe in time…Though, as even Mr Cohen would admit, time isn’t exactly on our side – our combined age currently adding up to a tidy 140 years. Never mind. In the meantime, let me recount the ways in which I love this man. Continue reading Ladies, I give you Mr Leonard Cohen!

Do the French really know all about la vie?

 

Vive la vieille!

OK, I finally get it, the reason for all the bad karma that has come my way. It all started at birth, when I was born a baby, not a bébé. Then I grew into a woman, not a femme. And now I’m just a plain old dame, not even une femme d’un certain âge. In short, all my troubles came about because I’m Not French. Zut alors!  If only I’d been born une Française, it would have all been so very different. Pretty much parfait, in fact. Continue reading Do the French really know all about la vie?

How to be erotic at any age

Too sexay for my sheet.

Have you noticed that after a certain age there’s nothing sensuous or erotic about onscreen sex and nudity?  Rather, it reeks of irony, or even more disconcerting, downright ridicule. The few rare sightings of the unclothed older figure are either shown as a joke or an embarrassment. There’s this subtext: We’ve had our laughs, now do us a favour and put it away. Continue reading How to be erotic at any age

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